The Language Pets Use Before They Stop Trying
Most pet owners know to watch for growling or hissing — but by the time an animal reaches those signals, it has usually been communicating stress for quite a while. Ethologists and certified animal behaviorists have documented a range of subtle, earlier-stage cues that pets use to express discomfort, uncertainty, or the desire for distance. Norwegian dog trainer Turid Rugaas pioneered the term calming signals to describe the repertoire dogs use to self-soothe and communicate peaceful intent — many of which owners routinely mistake for quirky habits or simple tiredness.
Understanding these signals matters because unrecognized stress doesn't simply fade away. It tends to accumulate. Animals that feel chronically unheard may escalate to behaviors that are harder to live with — or may internalize distress in ways that affect their physical health. For a broader picture of how stress manifests across species, see how pets experience stress and what owners can do about it.
The signals below apply most directly to dogs and cats, though many have parallels in rabbits, guinea pigs, and birds. When in doubt about whether your pet's behavior reflects stress or an underlying health issue, sudden behavior changes may point to medical causes and warrant a veterinary consultation.
Excessive yawning outside of tiredness
Yawning is one of the most frequently misread calming signals in dogs. When a dog yawns repeatedly during training, greetings, or vet visits — situations unlikely to cause drowsiness — it is typically communicating that it feels pressured or overwhelmed. Cats yawn as a displacement behavior too, though it is less studied in felines.
Context is everything: a single yawn after waking means nothing, but a chain of yawns during a tense moment is worth noting. Responding by softening your body language, averting your gaze, or creating distance can help de-escalate the situation.
Yawns in tense situations signal discomfort, not tiredness — context is everything.
Repeated lip-licking or nose-licking
A quick tongue flick across the lips or nose — distinct from licking after eating — is another recognized calming signal in dogs. It often appears when a dog is approached too quickly, held in prolonged eye contact, or asked to perform a task it finds stressful. It can happen so fast that owners miss it entirely.
Chronic lip-licking may also indicate nausea or oral discomfort, so if the behavior is frequent and context-independent, a veterinary check is worthwhile. Oral disease is among the most common conditions vets diagnose in pets and can produce exactly this kind of subtle signal.
A quick lip-lick during an interaction is often a polite request for more space.
Whale eye — the visible white crescent
Whale eye refers to the crescent of white sclera visible at the corner or rim of a dog's eye when the head is turned but the gaze remains fixed. It often appears when a dog is uncomfortable with something in its immediate environment — being hugged, cornered, or approached by an unfamiliar child — but feels unable to move away.
This signal is particularly important to recognize around children, as it frequently precedes escalation. Learning to read escalating warning signals can help prevent bites — aggression rarely appears without earlier warning signs.
Whale eye is a high-priority signal — the pet is telling you it feels trapped or threatened.
Turning away or showing the side of the body
When a dog curves its body into a C-shape or deliberately turns its side or back toward a person or another animal, it is displaying a classic calming gesture meant to signal non-threat and request space. Owners often interpret this as rudeness or disinterest and may try harder to engage — which can increase the pet's discomfort.
Cats perform a similar behavior: sitting with the back partially or fully turned toward a person during conflict or after a stressful event is a way of disengaging without aggression. Honoring these cues by allowing the animal to set the pace of interaction builds rather than erodes trust.
Turning away is an invitation to pause, not a sign of stubbornness or indifference.
Displacement behaviors — sniffing, scratching, or freezing mid-action
Displacement behaviors are actions that seem out of place or context — a dog suddenly stopping to sniff the ground intensely during an uncomfortable greeting, or scratching behind an ear when nothing is causing an itch. These behaviors allow an animal to briefly redirect its own attention and signal to others that it is not escalating a situation.
Freezing — going completely still — is another displacement response that owners may miss entirely. Unlike relaxed stillness, stress-related freezing is often accompanied by tense muscles and a fixed gaze. If freezing occurs around children or during handling, it deserves careful attention. For dogs specifically, displacement behaviors can also accompany separation anxiety patterns.
Out-of-context sniffing or sudden stillness during tense moments is the animal asking for a break.
Hiding or seeking elevated positions during routine events
An animal that retreats under a bed, into a closet, or behind furniture during predictable household events — visitors arriving, appliances running, children playing — is communicating that its threshold for stimulation has been reached. This is especially common in cats, who use height and concealment as primary stress-management strategies.
While some hiding is healthy self-regulation, habitual concealment warrants attention. Many animals instinctively conceal illness, so distinguishing stress-based hiding from health-related withdrawal is important. Persistent hiding that intensifies over time or is paired with appetite changes should prompt a veterinary visit. More broadly, recognising when a pet is not thriving is a core skill for responsible ownership.
Routine hiding after predictable events signals a pet whose stress threshold is regularly exceeded.
Responding Thoughtfully — and Knowing When to Ask for Help
Spotting stress signals is only half the work. The other half is responding in ways that reduce pressure rather than amplify it. In practical terms, this often means giving the pet more space, pausing an interaction, removing a stressor from the environment, or simply sitting quietly nearby without making demands.
Practice Observing Without Reacting
One of the most effective habits you can develop is spending a few minutes each day simply watching your pet without interacting. Keep a brief log of when and where specific signals appear — this pattern recognition is exactly what a behaviorist will ask you to provide. Over time, you will start to notice clusters of signals that reliably precede stress escalation, giving you more opportunity to intervene early and calmly.
For owners who want to go deeper on body-language literacy, reading your pet's body language — what vets want you to know is a useful companion resource. Cat owners in particular may find the hidden language of cat body posture helpful for decoding feline-specific cues.
When stress signals appear frequently, persist across contexts, or are accompanied by physical symptoms, consult a veterinarian first to rule out pain or illness — pets rarely vocalize pain the way humans do. If health causes are ruled out, a certified applied animal behaviorist or veterinary behaviorist can help design a management and enrichment plan. Early action gives your pet — and your relationship with them — the best chance of thriving. See our pet care basics hub for daily routines that support overall wellbeing.
This article is for general informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional veterinary or behavioral advice. If you are concerned about your pet's health or behavior, consult a licensed veterinarian or certified animal behaviorist.
The content on this site is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Always consult a qualified professional for guidance specific to your situation.